"V" is for Vetri

I won't lie -- this is the meal I had been waiting for since the start of our yearly culinary journey. For various reasons, plans we had to go to Vetri -- once in 2007 and again in 2008 -- had ended in cancelled reservations. Again this year, after I got the date of our reservation confused, doom was looming. Fortunately, thanks to a flurry of cancellations, first from ex-coworkers I supposed to get together with and then from an unlucky party who found they too couldn't make it to Vetri when they initially thought they would, the restaurant was able to squeeze us (as I always assure the wife, it all works out in the end) at 6:45 p.m.

As the witching hour neared, I was very excited. Almost as excited as I get on Sunday afternoons in the fall at approximately 1 p.m. Almost as excited as I get when I hear that Bryan Adams is coming around in concert. Almost as excited as I get when I hear the words, "open bar." You get the idea. I had eaten very little all day to prepare my appetite. I had looked up the address (Vetri is surprisingly restrained from the outside with only a small sign outside what looks like a regular brownstone). I had my wardrobe all picked out. I was expecting big, big things from a culinary heavyweight in our city. I was ready.

Three hours later, I was stuffed. That's what 8 courses (or so) of food with 7 changes of silverware, 4 glasses of robust red wine, and a pair of pants about 1 size too tight do to me.

Many, many weeks before the wife and I stepped foot in Vetri, I knew we were going to get the Grand Tasting menu. It was one of those, "if you are going to go big, go all in" theories. And I will admit, I felt a surge of power when our waiter came over and asked, "Do you need me to explain anything on the menu?" and I responded, "Not tonight, chief. We're putting ourselves at your chef's mercy."

I was envisioning seared fois gras, wacky foam emulsions, caviar, truffles, sea cucumber, cockles, you name it. The weirder the better. And from that standpoint, I'd have to say I was a bit disappointed. There was nothing too terribly exotic that was placed in front of us, nothing that I hadn't seen or tried before it some form or another. Obviously, the combinations and presentation of dishes was unique, but I was hoping for lots of new culinary experiences and didn't get them. A minor complaint, for sure, but worth noting.

Ordering a tasting menu is an interesting concept. You truly have little power over what is placed in front of you. The wife gave our waiter a short list of her personal "don'ts" -- lamb, raw quails egg, anchovies -- but we otherwise were completely blind as to what would be served. It's actually pretty exciting as you sit there and wait to see what you will be served next.

Interestingly, for most of the courses, each party gets a different dish. I'd say of the 12 of so items put in front of us, 6 were individualized, which meant more to taste, which was great.

I don't pretend to remember everything we ate (alas, my photographic memory has failed me yet again), but here were some of the highlights:

• Lardo draped beignet (sort of a sugar donut with a thin shaving of fat on top of it). Sounds weird but you don't really taste the lardo.
• Cauliflower flan with a raw quail's egg. Delicious.
• Sweet onion tart. Very rich and powerful.
• Baby scallops with minced carrots and pineapple. Incredibly delicate and sweet.
• Spinach gnocchi in brown butter sauce. The sauce was a bit too rich, especially since it came in my next dish as well, but the gnocchi was incredibly silky and delicious.
• Rabbit tortellini. Cool presentation.
• Roasted skate with wild mushrooms. The mushrooms were particularly exceptional.

There were a few misses as well -- I could have done without the almond tortellini and the local veal served on a hot stone over a bed of rosemary was very dull. Our waitress kindly gave us an extra "entree" to try after seeing how unenthused we were about the veal, which was definitely appreciated.

Overall, though, it was hard to complain. A great meal in a great restaurant with great company. Are there things I would have changed about the evening? Sure (but that's how I am). Our table was so close to our neighbors that it was hard to have a private conversation. Some of the portions were a little too heavy (specifically, the wife got a massive portion of fettucine with wild boar ragu that was way, way too much for this sort of menu). The whole change of silverware for each course was a little much. Overall, though, while Vetri perhaps didn't quite meet the "best meal of my life" standards, it definitely didn't stray too far off the mark.

On to the full review...

THE FOOD: When you know you are going to have a huge meal, you have to mentally and physically prepare for it. Yes, the portions are usually going to be on the smallish size, but it wasn't as if these were single bite plates. The wife and I managed to finish everything, but I'm definitely glad they didn't have a scale we needed to step on on the way out.

THE DRINK: A lavish, expensive wine list. I expected no less.

THE STAFF: No complaints. The wife asked the sommelier lots of questions about the wine list, which he patiently answered. And our waitress did hook us up with an extra dish.

MAD PROPS FOR: The self-important douche sitting next to us trying to impress his bimbo date. As I said, the tables were very close together. I enjoy listening to idiots trying to talk to one another.

OVERALL: You know, this is a tough one. It was a great meal with lots of memorable dishes, but a small part can't help but be a little bit disappointed that we didn't get lots of lots of "Oh my God, this is amazing" dishes. The scallops, the spinach gnocchi, and the cauliflower flan were all stellar, and lots of other stuff was very yummy, but it wasn't as if we got anything really unexpectedly interesting. I guess I'm just too tough to please.

THE CHECK: If you need to ask, you can't afford it. Seriously, though, this is a once a year (2 years, 5 years) kind of thing.

On to the Ws...

With a little more than a month left in 2009, we'll have to pick up the pace a little bit down the stretch, but four restaurants in a little more than a month should not be too much of a challenge. It'll just take some good plannin and lots of writing. We'll git er done.

Ineligible restaurants for round 23...

• Warmdaddy's -- Back when I was in college, this was a cool jazz joint over near Old City. Now that it moved into a strip mall on Columbus Boulevard, it's not even close to being the same.
• White Dog Cafe -- I admire the dedication that the old owner, Judy Wicks, had to the city, but I was far from wowed the one time I went.
• William Penn Inn -- My first meal after becoming a man. Get your mind out of the gutter. It's where I had my Bar Mitzvah celebration. Sicko.
• Winnie's Le Bus -- A solid alternative to Honey's for Sunday brunch. Consistently good food, relatively short wait, and kid friendly.
• World's Cafe Live -- The best venue in the city to see a concert. The food is passable.

Candidates for round 23:

• Water Works Restaurant -- There was a huge PR surge when this restaurant down by the Art Museum opened up, but I frankly don't know anyone who has gone. I do read that Donovan McNabb is there a lot so I'll be sure to where my jersey. http://www.thewaterworksrestaurant.com/main.cfm
• Warsaw Cafe -- Pierogies, borscht, and vodka near Rittenhouse Square. http://www.warsawcafe.thekalon.com/
• Wine Thief Bistro -- My cousin friend is the chef at this interesting concept out near Chestnut Hill. http://www.winethiefbistro.com/
• The Witch -- Trick or treat. New age bistro in South Philly. http://www.thewitchbistro.com/