Saturday, January 31, 2009

"D" is for Divan Turkish Kitchen

There were a lot of memorable moments on the wife and I's honeymoon to Greece -- beautiful scenery, cool island towns, and nice people. But the food wasn't at the top of the list. Forget the fact that the wife got an acute case of food poisoning (which may have been caused in part by her allergy to lamb, which we just discovered) that laid her up for a day -- the rest of our meals weren't anything special. Outside of the cheap gyros at the street vendor, I can't honestly remember one meal that stood out. We did see the "house cat' throw up about 10 feet next to us at one restaurant in Athens, but that's not exactly a good memory. Greek food, in Greece at least, entailed a lot of lamb, runny moussaka, stringy spanikopota, eggplant, pita and hummus, and some boring desserts.

Looking over the menu at Divan Turkish Kitchen, located in a really fast changing neighborhood (for the better) near Graduate Hospital, reminded me somewhat of those Greek restaurants we sampled about two years back, but I was hoping the execution would be a bit more refined and the ingredients a bit more interesting. Sadly, it was mostly a bland reminder of times past.

Turkey is separated from Greece by the Meditarranean Sea (but of course, I'm sure you all already knew that) so the food is pretty similar, as the menu at Divan Turkish Kitchen proved. There were a lot of lamb dishes, with a couple of chicken, fish, and vegetarian dishes thrown in. The appetizers -- the clear highlight of the night -- featured a bevy of different salads with a number of different consistencies and flavors. Coupled with the warm, sesame bread, which was very good, I could have, and probably should have, made a meal just of these. Sadly, things went downhill quickly after our appetizer place.

Our waiter -- a low-talker to the extreme -- sucked. His recommendations sucked. His knowledge of the menu sucked. His fish filleting technique sucked. The only good thing I can say about him is that he didn't rush us out of the restaurant after we finished eating.

On to the full rundown of Divan Turkish Kitchen:

THE FOOD: You have to at least try to make dishes look appetizing. Good flavor is 75% taste and 25% visual appeal. My entree looked gross -- just a huge pile of meat with a gigantic glop of yogurt sauce. It tasted OK, but the portion side was way, way too much and it was just unattractive. The other entrees at our table -- lamb chops, a whole fish filleted (more accurately, butchered) "tableside" (not really, but more on that later), and an eggplant puree with chopped chicken -- all looked and tasted much better. The dessert -- sort of a baklava cousin with shredded filo dough called katafi (the wife was convinced it was Shredded Wheat) -- looked nice, but it was lousy. All in all, not good.

THE DRINKS: Our waiter recommended that we try the "house special" yogurt drink. He claimed it would be refreshing. It was poured from a giant container and it was absolutely disgusting. I will say our waiter was honest in telling us it would taste like plain yogurt. I'm just not sure why that was supposed to be a good thing. My post-meal Turkish coffee was yummy after I added a packet of sugar.

THE DECOR: Divan Turkish Kitchen isn't well marked, but it is a very nice building and a very pretty space. If it weren't for the ethnic music, though, it could have been an Italian or French restaurant -- they haven't done much to make it seem authentic.

THE STAFF: Need I say more? Our waiter brought the salad on a tray and explained what they all were except one. We asked him what that last one was and he replied, "Gee, I was hoping you wouldn't ask that. I don't know." At least, I think that is what he said -- we could barely understand him he talked so softly. But that's not even my favorite story. When describing the menu, he said that the whole fish would be "filleted by him tableside" so when the mom ordered the whole branzino, I was looking forward to checking out his skills. He brought the fish on a plate to our table, showed it to us, and then turned around and went back to the bar for his "tableside filet." Seeing him struggle with it, I guess I understood why he didn't want to embarass himself in front of everyone, but it was just strange. Fileting a whole fish isn't rocket science, ass canoe.

MAD PROPS FOR: On a cold night, they gave me a seat right on top of a heating vent. Much appreciated. It brought back childhood memories of cozying up to the vents to try to raise my body temperature above 32 degrees F.

OVERALL: Disappointing. While others enjoyed their food (the dad had lamb chops that looked a bit puny, but he claimed they were good), mine was a major letdown. More than anything else, the presentation of my entree killed things. It just looked disgusting, even if it didn't taste that bad.

THE CHECK: $120 for 4 of us, without tip.

January's summary: We managed to hit the first four restaurants on our journey, which puts us ahead of pace at this point. One very good (Cucina Forte), one pretty good (Azul Cantina), and two pretty bad choices (Branzino, Divan Turkish Kitchen). But I think I've proven, for those who didn't already know, that it takes a lot to impress me from a food perspective. I suspect this good:bad ratio is about the way things will stay, though I can hope for better down the line.

On to the "Es"...

Ineligible restaurants for round 5:

  • Effie's: I have heard a few people grumble about Effie's, but it used to be one of my regular spots. They have a weird setup with a separate building in the back, but that is definitely the coolest place to sit.
  • El Azteca: I have co-workers who love El Azteca, but I hate it. Cheap Mexican food, but beware the consequences.
  • El Vez: Stephen Starr started the rejuvination of this pocket near Broad St. with this bright, energetic spot. The margaritas and guacamole are good -- the rest, you are paying for the show and the, ahem, scenery.
  • Ernesto's 1521 Cafe: Not bad, but nothing special about this Italian joint near the Kimmel Center.
  • Eulogy Belgian Tavern: Among my current favorites for reasonable, reliable vittles, the beer list is huge and the sandwiches are good, but not great. It's got a cool vibe about it.

Candidates for round 5:

One more thing: I see that Craig LaBan is reviewing Little Fish in the Inky next Sunday. It's always a bit of a push-pull when you see one of your favorite "unknown" spots thrust into the spotlight. You like to see what "an expert" thinks, but you also are fearful that the review will be so good that you won't be able to get in without reservations a month in advance. Little Fish is one of my Top 3 or 4 favorite restaurants in the city and I'm going to hazard a guess that the review is going kick ass (I've read some rumblings to that extent). We shall see though...

Saturday, January 24, 2009

"C" is for Cucina Forte

I'm a skeptical person at heart, and I like to think I'm not a sucker (unfortunate for the guy last night who approached me claiming that "I just got robbed a few blocks back and I need money to get home to Frankford" I told him to call 911. He said, "I don't want to have to fill out all those forms." Snicker snicker).

So when a restaurant claims on their menu to have a "world-famous chili" or an "award-winning fried chicken," I'm rarely impressed. It doesn't really mean much more to me than "we're trying to push this item and make up some fancy marketing technique to do so." I rarely find that the award-winning, world-famous item is any better than anything else on the menu.

Last night's meal at Cucina Forte made me rethink that a bit. "Maria's Famous Gnocchi" was fantastic. Loyal blog readers (all 3 of you) may remember the subpar gnocchi I had at Branzino recently. Well, this was loads better. The wife and I tried both the riccota gnocchi in gorgonzola sauce (heavy but delicious) as well as the spinach gnocchi in marinara sauce (light and fluffly) -- they were both excellent. The shapes were a bit unusual -- each "piece" was about 3 times of the size of anything else I had ever seen -- but that was more an interesting conversation piece for 3 seconds than anything else. Our waitress explained that was partially because there is no potato in the Cucina Forte gnocchi -- it comes from the owner's family recipe back in Italy. It may have been the best gnocchi I have ever had -- it was that good. Added bonus that they let you order the gnocchi as an entree and get half of one kind and half of the other.

Here is the full rundown on Cucina Forte:

THE FOOD: If you want to be a good Italian restaurant, you need to get your pasta right. And Cucina Forte did it. Along with the gnocchi, the wide spinach pasta with porcini mushrooms in a cream sauce was fabulous. Just really, really good. Very filling though. The one disappointment was the grilled calamari appetizer with balsamic vinegar. It was bland and tasteless. I would have liked to have taken a shot at dessert, but I was stuffed.

THE DRINKS: BYOB. Props to our waitress for having a bucket of ice for our bottle of white wine ready for us without us asking. More props for making sure we could reach it (again, see Branzino)

THE DECOR: What South Philly Italian restaurants should be. An open, airy space, lots of mirrors, cheesy photo of the owners hanging on the wall, and Sinatra on the stereo system. Interesting mix of clientele too -- old, young, white, black. It was Restaurant Week in many Center City restaurants (but not here) so I wasn't expecting much of a crowd, especially for a Tuesday night when they were calling for snow, but it was relatively full.

THE STAFF: Our waitress was fine. The wife thought she was a bit surly, but I had no problem with her.

MAD PROPS FOR: The chef. I simply could not have been happier about the pasta dishes. It's what South Philly Italian should be, but rarely is.

OVERALL: I'll be back. I really like Italian food done well (maybe because making pasta is not something I am good at). The menu at Cucina Forte isn't overly fancy, though there were quite a few specials, but the quality was excellent.

THE CHECK: $55, with tip, for two of us. Very reasonable.

On to the "Ds"...

Ineligible restaurants for Round 4 -- it's a short list. For some reason, there are a lot of places I haven't been to here:

  • Dallesandro's Steaks -- Everyone has their favorite cheesesteak place. I don't pretend to be a cheesesteak connoissoire, but Dallesandro's down in the heart of Roxborough gets my vote.
  • Dante & Luigi's -- A true south Philadelphia experience. Decent enough food, but it comes with a free opera performance courtesy of the wait staff. It's a fun group experience.
  • Delilah's -- Not so sure about the food, but the scenery is quite titillating. Or so I hear.
  • Dilworthtown Inn -- Fancy fancy in Bucks County. It's a quaint place for a romantic (and pricey) summer getaway.
  • Distrito -- The latest Jose Garces incarnation (least until his newest, Chifa, opens this year). It's farther afield in West Philadelphia, but it's still very good. The Mexican wrestler masks all over the wall are cool to look at.
  • Dutch Eating Place -- One of the eating stands in the Reading Terminal. The widest selection of pickles (love those Amish) I've ever seen.

Candidates for Round 4:

Only a few days to vote for this one -- we are going on Saturday with special guests. Reservations have been made at each venue so we'll be all set depending on the public's input.

A Little Something on the Side

No "C" restaurant review just yet though the poll is closed (check back on Wednesday) but I thought I'd share something nonetheless.

Met the sous chef from Chez Colette (ironically, one of the current "C" choices) at a party the other night and we got to talking about food and Philadelphia. He was bemoaning the fact that the trend toward doing weird things with food in weird ways (basically, using the kitchen as a science lab) wasn't succeeding in Philly the way that it was in other culinary hubs (NYC, Chicago San Fran). Frankly, I didn't even know that there were restaurants in Philly trying this -- apparently, the chef at Snackbar tried and failed -- but my argument was that he was talking about international cities with international clientele who were willing to spend spend spend on the latest trend, no matter what it was.

So anyway, he asked me if I thought that Philadelphia would ever be ready to embrace that sort of concept and, in his paraphrased words, become a groundbreaking restaurant city on the front lines of innovation. I thought about it for a second and told him, "I doubt it." Here is why:

Philadelphia has undoubtedly become a much better city for eating out, but our restaurants are good, for the most part, because of the food. It's not so much because of the dining "experience" or the joy of telling our friends, "I just spent $30 for an asparagus spear that was seared at 1500 degrees with a modified blow torch in a pizza oven!" Eating out in the city isn't cheap, but I rarely feel like I've been ripped off because of anything outside of, "The food sucked," which happens. I don't want the chef preparing my food to have a Master's degree in psychics just so he knows that a piece of goose fat with congeal and turn purple when it's exposed to liquid nitrogen for 3 minutes. I want him to know how to cook, and I think most Philadelphians do too.

I see it as no great failure on our part that what works in the big-name restaurant cities does not work here. Good cooking is an art, not a science. And I sucked at science in school (for that matter, I sucked at art too, so why do I like to cook? Hmmm).

That's all I got, in a nutshell.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

"B" is for Branzino

I have never been a waiter. I never want to be a waiter. I would be too honest and tell people how I really felt when they said, "So how is the pan-seared liver special with roasted tomatoes? That sounds kind of weird." Really, though, I wish there were more waiters who wouldn't blow sunshine up customers' rumpuses just to protect their job and their chef.

Which brings me to the latest stop on our tour, Branzino, located on 17th St. between Locust and Spruce. Here are some of the lines our waiters tried on it. I'm embarassed to say I fell for a few of them:

  • "We have an extra special appetizer tonight..." I got it, even after I asked him "What makes it extra special?" and he gave me a really lame answer.
  • "You guys are in luck! Our chef usually goes around during the afternoon and buys fresh items from local stores, but since it was so cold today, he didn't leave the kitchen and he's been cooking all day!" I still haven't figured out how exactly that made us lucky, but whatever.
  • "I am in charge of making the 40 shots of espresso for the tiramisu every day. I always know I need to be on time or else I'd have to buy them at Starbucks!" Uh huh, sure. Whatever ass canoe.

And there were more. Our waiter wasn't any more misleading than most others, and I do think he was trying to be friendly, but his "advice" stunk. That "extra special appetizer" was pan seared sardines with a basilish sauce. All of the flavor was cooked out of the sardines -- it was incredibly bland. And that was just the beginning...

Here is the rundown on Branzino:

THE FOOD: Branzino's menu is pretty large, especially considering the size of the space. We stuck to the "extra special" sardine appetizer and each got a pasta dish. The wife got green and white pasta with shrimp and other stuff, which was quite good and had a little kick. It was easily the best thing we had.

I chose the gnocchi in tomato sauce. Now I really like gnocchi, and for the life of me, I cannot figure out how to make it properly. The two times I tried, it ended up in the trash. So I can appreciate when gnocchi is done well. But this wasn't done well. The gnocchi themselves were fine and pretty light, but they were drowned in the tomato sauce and the "fresh" mozarella on top of them was ice cold. Our waiter didn't seem to get the hint when he asked us how our food was and I commented that, "My wife's dish was good." Oh well. The three layer chocolate cake for dessert was OK, but certainly not the orgasmic, decadent treat our waiter was promising.

THE DRINKS: It's a BYOB, which is great, but if you are going to put our bottle in a bucket of ice on the other side of the room, I don't want to have to ask the busboy to refill my glass.

THE DECOR: Gaudy, stodgy, and old. Just like the majority of our dining companions in the restaurant. I hated the look of the place. I'm all for romantic, and I think that is what they were trying to go for, but I didn't get it.

THE STAFF: I've said enough I think. And really fella, a 2-foot long pony tail? Yuck yuck yuck.

MAD PROPS FOR: The bathroom was heated (which meant a lot on a freezing night) and spacious. They say you can tell a lot about how clean a restaurant is based upon their bathroom. No complaints here.

OVERALL: I had high hopes. It was a Wednesday night, the restaurant was not even half full, and the chef "had been cooking all day" (Whoopie!) Aside from the wife's dinner, which again, really was quite good, I was underwhelmed. Plus, it's a weird setup with a split dining room and gaudy mirrors and artwork. I got the sense in talking to our waiters that they get a lot of older regulars and that's who they sort of cater to. That's all good, but that ain't me.

THE CHECK: $72 with tip. Could have been worse.

Quick update on "A is for Azul Cantina": The day my "review" went up, they announced they had sold the place. Let's hope this isn't a harbinger of things to come (or in some cases, I guess let's hope that it is a harbinger of things to come).

One small change to the evolving blog -- below the list of "ineligibles," I included very brief descriptions of the restaurants being voted on, along with links to their menus (no idea how outdated these may be). It was suggested that this would help people who didn't want to just vote blind (although go ahead and keep voting blind for all I care).

Ineligible restaurants for Round 3:

  • Cafe Estelle -- Not a bad brunch backup.
  • Cafe Spice -- Been around for a while and not exactly sure why. It is in a great location in Old City, has a great space, but the food is nothing special.
  • Capogiro -- Not a restaurant per se, but one of Philly's food gems. Always interesting flavors of gelatos and they are not pushy at all. You can try as much as you like before ordering.
  • Caribou Cafe -- Another great space, great layout, and even a great concept (Creole), but this never quite clicks the way it should. It's never bad, but it's not a showstopper.
  • Carmine's Country Kitchen -- I like how this is called "Philadelphia's only R-rated restaurant." If you haven't sat outside at the table set up in the bed of the pickup truck in from of the restaurant for Sunday brunch, do it once. It's fun. And, oh, it's R-rated, I guess, because they claim to "Have put the (ahem) 'count' in 'country."
  • Cheesecake Factory -- The definition of suburban hell. When you ask the hostess, "How long is the wait for a party of 4?" and she responds, "Wednesday," that means YOU NEED TO GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!
  • Chloe -- A very pretty restaurant that knows what it is and what it does well. It's another of those small BYOBs that can be hard to miss, but it's worth trying.
  • Cin Cin -- One of several restaurants I like on Germantown Ave. in Chestnut Hill. I've had some weird experiences with servers here, but it's solid gourmet-ish Chinese food.
  • City Tavern -- Ugh. I understand that this is a place for tourists, but it just isn't worth it.
  • Cochon -- Not for the faint of heart. If you enjoy weird cuts of meat that make your wife say "Ew!!!", Cochon is your kind of place. If you think sweetbreads have flour and sugar in them, well, stay away.
  • Continental -- Stephen Starr's original, Continental (and Continental Midtown) is still one of the best summertime restaurants in the city. The menu is fun, yet interesting.
  • Copper Bistro -- One of the many reasons to like Northern Liberties. Open kitchen (big plus), limited menu (another plus), and tight quarters (not a plus). Copper is probably one of my top 20 places for dinner in the city.
  • Creperie Beau Monde -- I was down on this place, but my shrimp crepe the last time I ate here was excellent.
  • Crown Fried Chicken -- I know it's gross, but it always smells so good.
  • Cuba Libre -- Another fave of suburbanites that markets itself well. Lots of pretty people in the summertime, but I don't love love love it the way others do. I've had good meals, but it's just too much for me.

Candidates for Round 3:


Friday, January 2, 2009

"A" is for Azul Cantina

There are some street corners in Philadelphia -- and probably elsewhere -- that just have a restaurant curse. You can put the best chef with the nicest kitchen and the tastiest food in there, but since there have been so many losers in that spot, people just won't come. The spectre of failure is just too much to overcome. The space simply cannot be adapted to a new concept -- it needs to be ripped down, the demons exorcised, and rebuilt in a totally different way. Unfortunately, that ain't cheap and that ain't easy.

It's too soon to tell if Azul Cantina will be this sort of restaurant. Located at the corner at 10th and Spruce, it would seem to be a solid choice for a mid-level Mexican restaurant. There are monied residents, two hospitals, and some parking (though not a ton). But it's a location that has not fared well in the past -- there used to be a nondescript pizza joint, followed by Sauce, a shortlived gourmet pizza place. Neither place thrived. It's a dark corner sort of tucked between the dining destinations of Queen's Village, Rittenhouse, and the 13th St. corridor (whatever that neighborhood is called) so it's easy to overlook. And that's a shame, because there is a lot to like about Azul Cantina's food, if not their decor.

Philadelphia has seen the rise of several good Mexican restaurants the past few years -- Xochitl, Las Bugamlilias, Tequila, and Las Cazuelas all fill a needed niche. Mexican food done well offers complex but familiar flavors and can be so much more than beef and cheese tacos, burritos, and enchiladas. I like good Mexican food a lot, so it's nice to have places to choose from. Here is the rundown on Azul Cantina.

THE FOOD -- Azul Cantina doesn't have a complicated menu with unusual entrees, although a few of the items seemed odd (a New York strip steak special just didn't seem right -- either did the 8 oz. pork chop), but for the most part, its menu hits the mark. The habanero guacamole was excellent, although it didn't have any of the habanero kick to it. I had the pork tacos, which were also quite good. The shrimp tacos and bean and cheese enchiladadas also went over well with the others in our party of 4. There were few complaints here -- the plates were plentiful and not too expensive.

THE DRINKS -- Azul Cantina offers a lot of drink choices, especially for tequilla lovers, with various tequilla flights as well as margaritas, mojitos, and other specialty drinks. We stuck with the margaritas, which were available in various flavors. The watermelon was the best of the bunch. Stay away from the fizzy mojitos -- something just wasn't right about those.

THE DECOR -- It was relatively nice, but it lacked some finishing touches. The women complained how cold it was in the restaurant (the bathrooms were freezing!), although the men, being tough and rugged, were fine. The bathroom faucet and sink filled with rocks were unique touches. I always like places that do something a bit different in the bathroom.

THE STAFF -- There were a lot of people working the tables, even for a Friday night. As a customer, obviously, this was great, but it was easy to see they were probably overstaffed. Completely full at the bar and all tables, Azul Cantina probably sits about 50 people. That doesn't require 10 staff in the front. Still, again, no complains as a customer. Our waitresses were nice enough and replaced our lousy mojito with a magarita without complaint.

OVERALL -- In the right location, Azul Cantina would thrive. I know that many of my Fairmount neighbors have been clamoring for just such a restaurant for years. The food is fairly priced and there were no misses amongst the four of us. There were some minor glitches, but nothing that would prevent me from recommending the place wholeheartedly. Unfortunately, Azul Cantina's location and design may be its downfall. There just isn't anything all that attractive about the place, and the food can't always carry a restaurant in a location that has lost so many times. When we left at about 8:30 p.m. on a Friday night, about half of the tables were full. That always worries me.

THE CHECK: Came to about $150 for the four of us, including tip.

For the first restaurant on this yearly "adventure," Azul Cantina was a good start. Despite the lateness of our friends (we forgave them), it was a very good meal.

And now, on to the "Bs." Thanks to everyone who voted on the original entry. Hopefully you'll stick with this.

Ineligible restaurants for Round Two (the Bs):
  • Bar Ferdinand -- With the Jose Garces (Amada, Tinto, Distrito) publicity machine, Bar Ferdinand sort of gets lost in the tapas realm, but it is a beautiful restaurant with some very good food. The almonds are fantastic.
  • Belgian Cafe -- "Monk's Jr." arrived in Fairmount with a lot of fanfare, but there is little that separates it from the other mediocre gastropubs in the neighborhood.
  • Ben & Irv's -- All Jews know Ben & Irv's. I end up there at least once a year after softball games. It's a tradition.
  • Bennigan's -- Just kidding
  • Bertucci's -- Still just kidding
  • Bindi -- Excellent Indian food. It's not cheap, but among the best choices on the 13th St. corridor.
  • Bishop's Collar -- It's easy not to take the Collar seriously, but the food is cheap and it is damn good. I really like the meatloaf sandwich. Too bad they got rid of the menus in the kiddies books -- that was one of those cool touches I love.
  • Bistro 7 -- Some people really like Bistro 7. It's been OK when I'm gone before, but I wouldn't rush back.
  • Bistro Romano -- Totally unmemorable. It stunk the one time I went years ago.
  • Bistro St. Tropez -- They market this as a "romantic hotspot" because it's on a high floor of a Center City hotel. Don't waste your time.
  • Black Sheep -- Good times drinking, but not eating
  • Brasserie Perrier -- Boy was I surprised when I heard this closed on NYE 2008. Not sad, but surprised.
  • Bridgid's -- I like their fried chicken.
  • Brigid Foy's -- There is something that has always just been quite off about this place. It's in such a great location that it should kill, but it doesn't.
  • Buddakan -- Perhaps the most well-known spot in the city for suburbanites. It's reputation is well deserved too -- it's just a cool place to go. Not my favorite certainly, but it's fun and the food is still good.
  • Burger King -- Really just kidding